Session 7
Dramatis Personae 3Coletell Auctor: MC. Likes belgian waffles with his demon loli. Also partial to normal girls. 2Mari Vanator: Half Succubus, Half Vampire, all loli. Gets easily jelly 3Carina Albian: Heir to the English Throne. Likes crepes and killing bad things 2Gertrude Auctor: One half loving, warm aunt, other half Ice Queen from Frozen Hell. "So." Ger puts her mug down. "I've got an assignment from an old friend. It's nothing big, but I'd still like to ask you if you're alright with it." 0"Sure, you know I'm fine with anything." 2"What're the details?" 7"I feel lazy today." "Fair enough." She motions over to Carina. "Sure, I'll take it." Carina gets up and stretches her lithe body. Her pyjamas are rather small on her. "Where and when?" 1"Wait wait, you can't take my job!" 5"..." 2"If you're going, I'm coming with." "You'll be escorting a high value artifact from one vault to it's new holding place." Ger looks back at you. "Though this job is really more suited for YOU..." 4"What do you mean?" 2"It's my off day, I'm going back to my study." 1"It's an escort, not a damsel in distress or slaughter or anything fun." "The artifact..." Ger takes a sip of her wakeup-alcohol. "Takes the form of a little girl. Probably looks younger than Mari, I'd wager." She winks at you. Carina looks perplexed. 3"I'm in." 7"Are you trying to say I'm a lolicon?" "Implying he ISN'T a hardcore lolicon." Gressil wakes with a painfully true statement. You wince. The truth hurts. "So, are you in, or aren't you? I need to call my friend back." 10"Count me in." 1"Nah, I'm good." Carina butts in with extreme feeling. "Hey! I wanted to get out of this manor too! Either you take me with you, or I'm gonna fight you for it!" She looks rather serious. 6"Fine, come along." 5"I'd rather work alone..." Carina's face lights up like you've never seen it before. In a days time, you and Carina are packed and sent off by Ger- it's a cross-country job. You're about to leave for a week... 8Say goodbye to Mari 0Don't, what if you don't come back!? You walk into Mari's room, and she's sitting on her bed, arms crossed, cheeks puffed. She doesn't look like she wants to see you. 8"Hey. Just wanted to say bye before I left." 1"...See ya then." 1"..." Leave. She looks away, and makes a cute little angry "Hmph!" What to do, what to do... 1Leave 9Hug her from behind You come up behind Mari, and lift her up, holding her tight. "...Come back safely, okay?" She tilts her head back and kisses you under the chin. 8Reciprocate, but the only accesible angle is kissing her on the neck. 1Nah, that's awkward yo. After all the mushy gushy goodbyes, you and Carina are dropped off at the train station by Ger- you're headed to the ass-backcountry of North fucking Dakota. What could possibly be there? 8"Psst, Carina, wanna take.. an alternate mode of transport?" 1Be boring and take the fucking train. At least it's safe. She looks at you, interested. "Oh? And I thought you were a boring, safe lolicon." She glances back. Ger is way gone. "Yeah, let's do this." 1"We could rent a helicopter" 2"We could rent a car" 9"We could probably fly there." "With what money? Airplanes are pretty bloody expensive, yo-" Before she finishes talking, you pull out your wallet. Time to put your inheritance to use. You take a taxi to the nearest airport... 1Economy seats 0Fucking business class. 10You've got cash. Two first class tickets, preferebly in the most private area of the plane. Shutting up all staff who have a problem with two young adults flying 1st class with your power of money, you and Carina board the next flight to Grand Forks Airport. 11"So, it's a 2 hour flight, and we'll be about a day early. Anything you wanna do?" 4Be an awkward, quiet rich boy while you've got a beautiful English princess sitting next to you. Carina is amazed by the private cabin. Hell, even you didn't know planes had these. "I'd love to try an inflight movie and the first class plane food!" She looks just about as happy as you've seen her 1Watch an action film 4Watch a chick flick 8Put on some cartoons Carina giggles like a school girl. "These are... Japanese cartoons?" Her laughter turns to curiousity. Her eyes are literally attached to the screen- also, she's on >your< seat/bed. 0Take her seat/bed 13Sit next to her subtly She doesn't take heed- she's too busy watch A Certain Megucal Madex. Seen it before, moeshit. But she's enjoying it. 0"Hey, Houma dies in the end." 8"Mamiccelerator is my favorite character, yeah." 1"..." She turns to you with the aura of a fangirl. "OHMIGOSH MEE TOOO!" Her eyes are sparkling with happiness. Maybe you shouldn't tell her she gets beheaded. 10"Her theme is awesome, yeah, I have it on my iZoon" 1"Yeah, I'll go get us food" Without warning, she tackles you- you can feel her muscular and lithe body overcoming you- and she takes your iZoon. "This is mine for the trip, kay~?" Well, it's not like I wanted to listen to it... 9"Hey, what do you want to eat?" 0"You said something about food?" She can't hear you- she's too busy enjoying Credens Caput and your Bosse headphones to hear you. You ask again, in vain. 7Go up to her and remove the headphones 1Order food without her You liberate your Bosse's from her, but you don't get the violent reaction you were expecting- instead, she locks her legs and arms around you and drags you down to the seat. 1"..!" 5"Whoa whoa whoa this is only a two hour flight, we don't have time for-" "I'm so glad you beat me up that day. If I didn't try to kill you back then, I wouldn't have ended up like this..." Well, isn't that a rather odd way of being grateful? 2"You can beat me up whenever you want." 3"Fate has a funny way of working, doesn't it?" 2"Sometimes I regret it..." "Mmmmhm!" She doesn't let up her stranglehold of you- clearly, in the physical department, she trounces you in every way. Her nether regions are rubbing against you... 6DON'T MIND IT, 1 HOUR 10 MINUTES LEFT IN THE FLIGHT 1What's a little teasing..? 0Diffuse situation. Pick up the fucking in-plane phone and order some food pronto After 30 minutes of almost losing bloodflow to your extremities, you notice she's... fallen asleep. No, you can't rape her, this is a fucking plane. 7Put a blanket on her. 0Leave her be You place a blanket on her, and she looks about as comfortable as she's gonna get for 45 minutes. You pull out your phone- airplane mode, but you can still do some things on it. 0Look at pictures. 1Listen to the old music you had before you got your iZoon 9Put the fucking phone down and get some chow Looking at the menu, you realize why the first class tickets be fucking expensive- you can get a lobster. A whole lobster. For your inflight meal. Of course, there are others... 2Order the sushi boat. Like a weaboo. 1Get the seafood bonanza. 5Fucking Breakfast for Lunch, in the air. In less than 5 minutes, a meal that would shame the entire menu of IHOW is delivered to your cabin. You gobble that shit up fast. "What a fatass." Gressil's mock cuts the air. 7"Says the demon with the bright red bum" 1"I'll eat you next." 0"..." "And you LOVED it, too." You can feel Gressil return to her rest. She must still be pretty drained from... whatever it is she does. The captain announces arrival in 10 minutes. What do? 5Leave Carina asleep 2Wake her up gently 2Wake her up firmly As the plane's landing gear meets the airstrip, the light jolt wakes Carina- and scares her- so much so that she rolls off the seat/bed and CRUSHES YOUR iZOON. 1"Well shit." 1"...It-it's fine." 7"No music for a week, I guess." As Carina realizes what her rather powerful elbow just did, she begins to half panic, half cry. I mean, really, it's nothing big, you're rich as hell... 2"You owe me a new one." 4"Don't worry about it, I'll pick up a new one." 1"...Man I should've come alone." Feeling a bit dejected, you pick up the remnants. Gathering your stuff, you exit the plane, and then the airport- now you're in the snowy asshole of nowehere. 7"We have a free day, what now?" 2"Let's go get my replacement iZoon.." 1"We should probably grab a room somewhere for the night." "Well..." She puts on her winter coat. It's rather cold, but you only do blazers. "I don't think there's much around here to see, and it's pretty cold out, so lets... get a hotel room?" 2"Good idea." 0"Where, though?" 8"...Fine..." She probably thinks you're mad or something. Why so cold shoulder? Of course, you pay for the room at the Workday Inn, not too much. There's only one bed and one couch. 2"I'll sleep on the couch." 3"Dibs on bed." 7"Well, I'm sure neither of us like sleeping on couches..." "A-ah! No no, it's fine, you can take the bed, I-I owe you anyways." She humbly takes the couch. "I saw an electronics store on the way here, we could..." 9"How about we just go shopping?" 0"Yeah, that'd be a good idea." 1"Eh, I'd rather stay in." You soon realize there's jack shit to buy in this area. But you go to the electronics store anyway- there's the new generation of iZoons. And you've got money to burn 1Buy yourself one, of fucking course. 8...Get Carina one of her own as well? You make sure Carina isn't looking- and buy two. You makes your new unit plain to see- she seems quite happy to see you have it. On the way back to the hotel, Carina keeps humming Credens Caput. 1"You really like that song don't you?" 7Hum along in a subtle duet She whirls around. The tough woman-warrior you first met is absolutely opposite of the girl you see before you. Maybe she is just a normal girl. Man that shopping has gotten you hungry. 7"Want me to cook something in the hotel?" 1"Wanna go out for dinner?" You just realized: As skilled, rich, and cool as you are, you can't cook worth shit. Recovering from this, you go out and purchase... eggs and ramen. You can do this, Cole. 9"So I lied, I suck at cooking." 1"Prepare for the ultimate in budget gourmet, Lady Carina." She giggles. "Well, so do I, so you can't possibly be worse than me. Oh, hey, I can help with that, can't I?" I mean, how hard is it to ramen? 8"Sure, you can... boil the water!" 2"Nah man I got this." So the two of you cook the possibly easiest meal in the world, together. It feels kinda like... you're a... couple? Nah man, job partners. 0"Here, you add in the ramen now." 6Stand behind her and add in the ramen yourself. 3Let her wing it. She leans back against you, and after the slowest 5 minutes, you've got egg-drop chicken ramen. For two. Well, I guess it's delicious... 9"Bon appetit, I guess!" 0"..." "T-this is..." You bite down, ready for the pain. "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS." I mean, I guess the English... fish and chips... I dunno. 3"Seriously?" 2"You're shitting me." 6"Yeah, this is about all I can cook, aside from cookies." "Hmmm..." The two of you have finished your dinners, and you're cleaning while Carina sits on the bed and watches the tube. It's awkwardly quiet. 1"..." 11"So, other than beating up people and being pretty, do you have any other talents?" She blushes at the comment. "Uhhmm... I can.. clean, speak German, French, and Russian... and sing!" 7"Sing?" 1"Clean? Then why am I doing this?" 0"What are you, a spy?" "Yeah! I was an orphan taken in by the Anglican church, so my orphanage sang during services. They said I had a pretty voice, so I had to do solos..." 0"I don't believe you. Prove it." 6"Oh? I'd like to hear." What comes next could be a wonder of the modern world. A sounds that would shame a choir of angels resounds from Carina- She's singing an amazing cover of Credens Caput, only hearing it for a day. 5"...My... my goodness." 2"..." 0Stand there, agape. "I-I hoped you'd like it..." Singing must be really important to her. She crawls back into the bed, and motions for you to follow. "Get in there, lover boy." Fucking Gressil. 2"It's fine, I'll sleep on the couch." 5Follow her in. You crawl in, but, even after 20 minutes, nothing happens. Carina doesn't even look vexxed that nothing's happening. However, she takes your arm and places it over herself. 1"Lonely?" 4Silently hold her with both arms. You fall asleep, and she holds your arms close to her. Your dreams go to Mari- however, intruding thoughts of Carina present themself. 0Upon waking, the two of you get dressed and head out to the job site. 0The trip takes a bus and a long walk, but you soon come to a snow-covered installation. 1Waiting outside punctually are two people- one a blue haired girl, who can't be more than 7 years old. 0The other is a well-wrapped man, looks to be a few years older than you, but you can't tell. 0"You must be the two hunters Miss Ger sent, I presume?" The man steps forward. 0Carina answers first: "We are. And who might you two be?" She grips the wrapped Excalibur 0"Well, you may call me Muki. I'm a hitman by trade, but my boss has assigned me to this job." He bows. 0"And this little one..." He gestures to the girl. "She's got an odd name in your 'business'" "What is it?" Carina asks. 1"She's the Blue Dragon Shard, or, as Ger and my boss call her, Dragon Dildo." 5SWORD OF THE OUTCAST / SESSION 7 /END